How I (Re)discovered My Boundaries (Hard but 100% Worth It!)
Have you ever noticed how a change in your routine after something like a move, travel, or completion of a major life project can throw you out of your regular practices and habits?
If you’re anticipating changes in your routines, you might find these these reflections helpful for managing expectations and avoiding stress-inducing pitfalls.
Sleep schedules can get better.
After focusing on a major project or traveling, this is actually one thing that can improve when you transition back to a more regular schedule.
Sometimes when I’ve spent months working on a performing arts project, I’ve been up later than usual which can really impact my overall amount of sleep. When I wrap up a project it can take me a while — maybe a week or two — to get back into my usual bedtime and wake-up time, and to stay asleep the whole night. By week 2 though, I am usually all set and back to the right amount of sleep for me.
Daily schedules can get more hectic.
On the other side of things, sometimes when traveling or focusing on something other than what you are used to, there can be more things to fill our schedules:
Keeping the house clean
Checking in on our friends and neighbors
Attending meetings and activities
It can take us a little while to get used to having more things to do!
Regular routines may need to change.
My routines at home might be all set before I set out for some travel time. After time away in a new time zone with a new focus on different priorities, I might want to re-adjust some things. It’s not as easy as just saying to myself, “Hey, I’m back, let’s revert to what I was doing a month ago.” It takes a little more intention.
For example:
Depending on if there has been a change in seasons, I might need to shift my morning routine to meditate before walking because it’s dark when I first wake up during certain times of year.
I need a indoor spot for meditation when it’s colder outside versus sitting outside in the warmer months.
My tea ritual sometimes changes to a different time of the day when I am traveling, so it doesn’t always fall right back into place upon coming back home.
Little things like this take a bit of planning and it can some time to get back into the groove.
Meeting boundaries can sometimes use some adjustments.
Often when traveling, I don’t schedule many meetings or events because I don’t always know when I will have solid wifi or a quiet spot.
When I return home, I sometimes find myself feeling like I need to “make up” for all of those “missed” appointments and get back to people quickly, so I ended up ignoring my own boundaries. Can you relate?
Even though I normally schedule no more than 2 meetings a day -- with the goal of sometimes only scheduling one or (gasp!) none -- I quickly ended up with 4, 5, or even 7 in a day!!
I sometimes find myself:
Forgetting to eat, or eating at a weird time that would then affect the next meal
Forgetting to drink enough water
Skipping my rest time and cutting my morning walk short
Not getting enough sleep
Rushing through time with other people
All of this directly impacts my body and mind.
A business coach I know used to say that’s just how you figure out where those boundaries are: You run right through them and then realize what happened.
Thankfully, most of the time after a week or so of doing some of these things, I usually notice what I am doing and take action to get back to my values. It may take a while to pull back and re-arrange, but it is always worth it.
One helpful tip can be to write yourself notes and put them on your desk or calendar (if you use a paper version) to remind you of your boundaries around your time.
I’m curious: when’s the last time you had to manage transitions in your routines? Or perhaps, are you anticipating changes in the near future?